If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.
Jonathan Winters, who died today at 87.
Ted bears all (sort of)
Lewd teddy bear Ted answered our questions in an interview, including these gems:
Q: What’s Mark Wahlberg like to work with?
A:: Sexy, and I mean that in the straightest way possible.
Q: Where did you pick up such salty language?
A: When I was little, I accidentally stepped on Bill O’Reilly’s toe in an airport. I learned all I needed to in the next eight minutes.
Q: What’s the key to good comedy?
A: A slippery banana peel and a proud fat guy.
Q: What do you think of Seth MacFarlane being the Oscars host?
A: I feel like Kim Jung-eun would have been a more popular choice.
