If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.
Lewd teddy bear Ted answered our questions in an interview, including these gems:
Q: What’s Mark Wahlberg like to work with?
A:: Sexy, and I mean that in the straightest way possible.
Q: Where did you pick up such salty language?
A: When I was little, I accidentally stepped on Bill O’Reilly’s toe in an airport. I learned all I needed to in the next eight minutes.
Q: What’s the key to good comedy?
A: A slippery banana peel and a proud fat guy.
Q: What do you think of Seth MacFarlane being the Oscars host?
A: I feel like Kim Jung-eun would have been a more popular choice.